The other day I went into the bathroom to take a poo, It was Glorious I flushed the toilet and everything.

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What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

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Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

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What goes up and down but never physically moves? My grade.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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what looks like a banana? a penis

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In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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What is an antijoke? Not Knock

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Chuck Norris does not get sick; He only gets sick when his immune system is weak.

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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what is yellow and burns? -a fire

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Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

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What do you call a dead guy under the ocean? Murder.

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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What does aaron eat for dinner Answer- Fat Finger HAHAHAHAHA

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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kk

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

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A moose walks into a grocery store. He goes over to a cashier and says, "On what aisle are the potates?" The cashier replies, "Aisle 4." The moose went to aisle 4 AND THERE WERE NO POTATOES!

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What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? Where's my farmer??????

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Roses r red, Violets r blue, u think id eva cry ova u?? I told u i luvd u, n u believed it true... Well guess wat baby? U got played 2 B)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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