A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

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Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

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whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

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How do mummies keep there secrets wrapped up? They are dead.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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My cat just died.

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I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

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There once was a girl with only one buttcheek. She couldn't go poop. She died.

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What's the difference between an apple and a banana? One's an apple.

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Whats big, round and orange? A big round orange

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A man that says YOU SUCK MY DICK YEAH!finds a woman that says YOU SUCK MY BOOB YEAH!They get married,The woman is actually a gay man!

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops