There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King. After being told politely that Big Macs were served at McDonald's and not Burger King, he walked out and drove to the nearest McDonald's.

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

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Q: why did the white man buy a burge A: cuz he was hungry

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tank tank who? You're welcome

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Whats worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. Whats worse then two bee stings? The holocaust. Whats worse then the holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

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Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had bullied 6 and his old pal 21 back in his younger days.

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Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

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Why did the middle-aged lady have a heart attack? Years of heavy smoking, alcohol abuse and lack of exercise had taken its toll on her body, causing it to age prematurely. @JWest

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What did the fat man say to the other far man Hey your fat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops