A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

Im Tom and I'm an alcoholic...

A man walks into a bar He orders a beer, drinks the beer, then leaves.

What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

Guess what? I like trains.

Why is six afraid of seven? SE7EN!

Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

why did the man sell the car and bought worse one? it' s his hoby to restore cars

What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

I drove my Chevy to the levy. It was dry.

whats brown and stick? brown paint that has not dried yet.

What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

my penis

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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