A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

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An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

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What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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Q: Why was little Timmy afraid of clowns? A: The one at his birthday party killed his parents.

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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whats worst then geting a used condom put in your mouth geting wraped by mario then lugi

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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Knock knock Who's there Orange Orange who Orange

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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