What is worse then 10 babes nailed to a tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Haikus are good poems, They don't always make sense though, I saw a squirrel.

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

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What would you do for a kwuandike bar? Anything clean and sanitary that wouldn't provide harm to me or others near me

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What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

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"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man... On the phone

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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One, two, three, four and five

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Knock Knock. Hello Frank! How'd you know it was me? There is a window next to the door.

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Why was the protester on the floor? Because the protest had become a riot, and police brutality is a serious issue.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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