What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a beer, then suddenly dies of a heart attack.

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Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? None, the blender is too small. Also it is illegal to kill a baby infant because they are considered human. You can get life in prison or the death penalty for committing such a heinous crime.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had completed its task on the aforementioned other side and was returning back to the coop for a feeding now that the sun had set.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Santa isn't real.

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your mom is so fat that she had to start going to a gym to exercise and get her weight under control.

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Q: The red house is to the left and the blue house is to the right. Where is the white house? A: 3 blocks down from the red house

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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-What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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A Polack walks into a bar. Which makes sense because the bar was in Warsaw.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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A frog jumped on the lilly pad, it sank and drown and all of the tadpoles didn't have a mother and inevitably died

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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What do you call a chicken with three eyes? One that flew over the cuckoo's nest.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops