Why would Obama like to be ahead of some guy's poll and bent over at the same time? Because being ahead in someone's poll is encouraging news for his election campaign and bending over is part of the exercise program he uses to stay in shape.

Okay, you seem sincere enough, thing is that I trust you, but your buddies, if you can vouch for them, then I at least know that you are putting your stepmother in danger if you decide to cover for your friends, besides you being such an emotional crybaby kinda gets me into trusting you again.

Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

Once upon a time, there was a cat. He died.

what is black and looks like a rasberry a blackberry

You know what happens when there's an awkward silence... Everyone feels a little bit uncomfortable for a brief moment in time.

Q. what is the most amazing animal in the world? A. MULLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

feminine literature

how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

kkkk

Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

so a man goes to jurrasic park and sees two dinosaurs fighting. he shits himself.

The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.

Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

You sick fiend

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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