Why did the chicken cross the road? It escaped.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Two muffins are in an oven one muffin says to the other muffin "It's hot in here" the other muffin says "Holy crap a talking muffin".

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Who let the dogs out? The dog's owner.

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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What do you call a man that likes to play baseball? A Baseball Player.

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A black man walks into a KFC, he then realizes that he is in the wrong store, and walks out.

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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What's grammatically incorrect about this sentence? Nothing. I lied.

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Why did Michael Jackson become white? Because he likes to molest children.

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What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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Yes

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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Man 1: Did you hear that one about that girl who killed herself? Man 2: No Man 3: Yeah, neither did I

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops