Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot had a stroke.

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Wilson: would you buy lottery when you grow up Mattuew: no theres no point Wilson: ask Xiangxi right next to you Mattuew: xiangxi, would you buy lottery if you grow up? Xiangxi: Prabably not, because the chance of winning a lottery is lower than becoming an astronaut Mattuew: the probability of you winning the lottery is higher than you finding a girlfriend

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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What's orange, looks like and orange, probably tastes like an orange, and has no brain? Donald Trump

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Why did the little girl run to her mother? Because she saw a police inspector, who had already tried to kill her several times that week, aiming a poison dart at her forehead.

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What did Ghandi tell St Peter as he passed through the Gates of Heaven? He didn't. There is no afterlife.

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

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How did Jimmy lose seven pounds? I killed him.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

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What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

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Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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So an Alex Gedrose walks into a bar, and orders peanut butter and jelly toast on buttermilk with extra Linda on the side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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