Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

What do you call a alcaholic walking down the street..... Roadkill

Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

What's worse than losing your job? Getting repeatedly hit in the face with a brick after getting fired from your job.

what do you call a ginger......... billy and mickee.......

Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

how does chuck norris eat an apple Just like every other person

At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

What do you call it when a multiple personality disorder person masturbates? Rape.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

Josh Moran peels off his foreskin while watching gay porn.

When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

Why was the chicken sad Thanksgiving

Are you antijoke.com. Because you are a faggot.

why does it take 2 woman with p.m.t to change a light bulb? because there both tired , feel bloated , and could do with a bar of choccy

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

Why did the teacher need sunglasses? Because she taught in a classroom with a very big window and the sun kept getting in her eyes.

Whats white, fat, and looks like a horse? An albino horse who apparently has a high chance of diabetes.

Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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