How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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Why did the Chef go to jail? He killed his wife.

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

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What do you call a black guy with a peg leg? An amputee.

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Why didn't Sarah come to school today? She had a heart attack and died.

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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sadf

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

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Your mother is so slutty that she seduced me while I was drunk. I'm so sorry.

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What's dark, scary, and full of puppies? My van. I lied about the puppies...

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What happened to the child drowning in a pool? He was saved by the well-trained lifeguard.

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A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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What did one volcano say to the other? Nothing. Volcanoes are inanimate objects that do not possess the ability to speak.

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Rarity: "So, what is that splendid frock of yours saying?" Maud Pie: "It doesn't talk. It's a dress."

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

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a dyslecstic son seys to his mum can i have a mcdonald for tea the mum seys ye if you can spell mcdonlds and the son seys fuk that im having a kcf

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Whats red and has wheels? An apple, I was just kidding about the wheels.

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what do you call a brown man that has been repeatedly shanked and has been fucked up the arse by 10 Rag heads in one night and thrown in a well to slowly and painfully die? Lloyd.

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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a white guy walks into a black guy bar who walks out. A. half black half white baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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