What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

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Roses are red, Violets aren't. This doesn't make sense. Potatoes and brown.

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was simply wandering around and happened to walk from one side of the road to the other.

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Schizophrenia will affect over 1.5 million people this year. At least, thats what my flying, albino pet rhinoceros told me.

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the paralympics? Walking.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What did the doctors tell the boy with cancer who is on his way to being released from the hospital? "you are going to die," why give him hope and be proved wrong. This way if they are wrong the whole situation is a miracle, if they are right..... "I told you so"

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

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wheres an unexpected place to find sand? a human pancreas.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

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Who invented chocolate? I don't know! Keep it to yourself.

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops