What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the black man go to the store with a gun? He recently bought it a couple days before to go hunting, but it wasn't working correctly.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

thumb_up thumb_down +4

If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How Do You Solve A Impossible Math Question? You Dont. cause its impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock Who's there? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Yo mama's so ugly, one day she looked in the mirror and her face was a wreck. Later that day she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

thumb_up thumb_down +4

'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo mama's so fat that when she goes into a clothing store, she often feels self-conscious about having to buy larger than average clothing sizes than most people.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops