So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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Shltskc gw? G

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Why cant stevie wonder read? Because he is blind

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

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Why did the Albino cross the road? He was going to the skin pigment store.

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because billy was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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How did the man die? He was killed alive.

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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Why did grandpa fall asleep naked on a bench? Because his mental condition is slowly deteriorating which is causing him to not be able to properly determine what is and isn't ok to do in public.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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