Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

Q: what's yellow and can't use chopsticks. A: corn

Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

What did the man with one eye say to the woman with one leg at 2 p.m? Good afternoon.

What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

Q:what did the 14 year old girl from Tennessee say to her dad when she lost her virginity? A: Get off of me

How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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