My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

What does an Asian person with 3 eyes have? A birth defect.

How did the fat man survive the plane crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else!

drugs.

I Have a Black Friend

Wanna hear a joke? no

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Physics. Why did Tommy fall of his bike? He was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator.

what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

A man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The barman says no.

What long black and tasty? Licorice

What did the rugby post say to the tree? Good evening George!

Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

What's big fat and hairy? Peter

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...