Situation: 2 cows eating grass on a warm Sunday night. Question: Why does 9+4=3 1/2? Answer: 69!

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Looks like this is a *puts on sunglasses* Pair of sunglasses

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

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Gretta has five legs? -no

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

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What stops a train? A missile

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell.

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Do you like waffles yeah we like waffles do you like pancakes do you like french toast yeah we like french toast dododododod let me get a mouth full. WAFFLES!!!!!!!

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Your mums a potato

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Why did the penguin die? It got eaten.

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why did the duck cross the road? because his d**k was stuck in the chickens a**....

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Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because Jimmy is a brick wall.

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What happened when the engineering student studied for a physics final? They failed.

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What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

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Why are trees green? I have no idea

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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Q: why didn't the asian boy ask for a calculator? A: you don't need calculators to make shoes

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. That is highly improbable, due to the fact he is in a wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops