An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

What do Ethiopians do on Fridays? Starve.

Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

Ask me if I'm a watermelon. Are you a watermelon? No...

What's worse than terminal cancer? Two terminal cancer?

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

once upon a time jess was happy this once upon a time was a very long time ago, BABADOOK !

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They all say ouch and then continue walking. Although the minister did hit it at a higher speed and ended up with a black eye.

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, unless he's short. Then, he'll need a friend to hold the ladder for him.

Yo momma is so fat that....actually she's quite fit and i'd love to take her out on a date.

Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

A.M.E.V.A.A A-ny M-essage E-xpressed V-ia A-cronym is A-wesome

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my basement.

How long was the awkward silence it took to make Justin Bieber? Really long.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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