A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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Roses are red The grass is green I want you in my bed If you know what I mean.

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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A Jewish man walkes into grocery store. He buys some groceries, and leaves.

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What size pants did the gorilla wear? An abnormaly large pair compared to the average human because their weight and width are porportionaly larger for their speices.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in a apple? Getting raped by a skorpian

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Get on the boat.

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What did one fetus say to they other fetus? Nothing they were aborted.

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Why did the old man fall down the stairs? Because he was on his wheelchair.

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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What do you call two black people in the same sleeping bag? A newly married couple on their camping adventure honeymoon.

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What is worse than ten babies in the street, eleven babies in the street.

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roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Schizophrenia.

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why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

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What do you call a one legged , one eyed, canadian fisherman called Samuel Browning? Mr Browning unless you are on friendly terms then Sam is fine.

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A priest and a rabbi attempt to take a whale to a bar. But due to the enormous size and the need for water, the whale couldnt come.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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