Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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Why was the baby crying? Because he was tied to a railroad track. How did the baby die? He had a bomb strapped to him. How did the bomb explode? It got ran over by a train.

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How are leprechauns and lions similar? The both start with L.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

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How do you make someone to shut up You tell them to SHUT UP!

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Why did dallin fall off the swing he got hit by jds big penis

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Hit it with a shovel 17 times

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So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Q: What does Jerry Sandusky and bills have in common? A: They both come in the mail

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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