What did the captain say to the priest? We're on a boat.

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Little Brianna has a special body part. That's why I kidnapped and sexually assaulted her.

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Your Mom is so fat, that she went to the doctor's and they told her that she was overweight and needed to get a stomach staple in order to make her lose weight

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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You can pick your friends you can pick your nose but you cant pick your friends nose.

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What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Dries Roelvink walks into a bar...

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Roses are dead Violets are dead I'm a terrible gardener.

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Doctor: I have good news and bad news. The good news is that your parents survived the car accident. Kid: And the bad news is? Doctor: I have a horrible sense of humor, they're both dead. I'm so sorry.

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Q: what do you call a much green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

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A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

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Why can't february march Because april may

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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Your mum is so ugly that i make jokes about how ugly she is

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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why did the man beat his wife? why not?

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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Your mamma's so obese that she can't stand up. She's been like this for years. That's because she's dead. She died of cardiovascular-related diseases.

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The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops