Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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what did the doctor say to another doctor? we are doctors

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How can you outsmart Stephen Hawking? Steal the wheels of his chair and replace them with a dolphin.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

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roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny cuase the robot had no arms.

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What did the dead woman say to the murderer nothing dead people cant talk

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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What did the man say when he saw a alien? "Look its a Alien"

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What has eyes but can not see, and rolls everywhere it goes? A man who fought for your freedom and lost both his eyesight and legs in doing so. Have some respect.

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Why did the blonde arrest the man? Because he brutally murdered his wife and children.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

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You want some cake? Sure! Okay, go buy the ingridients and bake me some. YAY!

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Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

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Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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Guess What??? Ur Murr

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops