I like touching my boobs

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Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

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sky silverstein

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

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"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

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Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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knock knock Person A: who's there Person A: oh shit that was me

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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Why didn't the ghost go to the dance? He didn't exist.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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Why are Indians so bad at football? Curry

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Why did Kristi drop her chap-stick? Kristi was of the many children held in hostage of the Jewish heritage during the times of Hitler's wrath. At the Concentration camps they were not given the opportunity to maintain a healthy, average diet thus decreasing her body strength. No longer could Kristi hold her chap-stick - alas her frail little fingers slowly released the cylinder shaped tube and hopelessly watched it hit the ground. As it hit the ground, a cloud of dust swept over Kristi's body. At the same time Kristi was taking a big whiff of fresh air (just kidding, the air at concentration camps were not fresh - it reeked of acid) she accidentally inhaled the dirt which fled through her body and made her faint. She woke up and it was a dream, lol.

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Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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