A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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What did one cow say to the other cow? Nothing. Cows do not possess the ability to speak.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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How do you make a snake blink? You can't

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2 Priests and a Monk walk into a bar, All 3 were stabbed to death in a bar fight.

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Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A:Because it wa dead!!!!!!

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all broke beyond repair.

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What did the red paint say to the blue paint? They said nothing. Paints don't talk and you need to see a doctor if you answered anything else.

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A jewish boy walks past a quarter on the ground..

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What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

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knock knock come in ok!!!!! ur an elephant oh ya i guess im not suppose to talk!

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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What did the doctor say to the person who is suffering from obesity? Run fatass Run

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What has four legs and is always ready to travel? Siamese twin fugitives.

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Q: Why did Sarah fall off the swings? A: She had no arms Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What did the white man say to the black bartender? I'll have a pint please.

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A black man walks into a bar. He is then beaten upon and hung, as this is the 50s.

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? everything! dead monkeys are awesome

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Be sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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What do you say to Jews at a synagogue? Hitler is coming

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If you just read this, You're dead.

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You're welcome. On to the next house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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