Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? A Holocaust in your apple.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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Black people stink of shite!

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Q: Why did the officer stop the black SUV? A: Because it was going way over the speed limit.

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Yeah, haha, I tend to put myself under a state of trance at the same time I put others down there, which makes it difficult to stop it sometimes, I do it for ethical reasons, I mean if I would ever hypnotize someone into feeling really bad, it would affect me as well. You might want to get some water on your face, you know, so your upper lips don't envy the lower ones.

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Women's Rights

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How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're people to you know...

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he just got paralized from the waist down and will never be able to walk again.

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

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Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

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why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

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What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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95556

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

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Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops