Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because it was raining.

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Why did the deer stop running? It was hit by a car

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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A man walked into a bar. He has been in a coma for six weeks now.

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

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How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

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why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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What did the boy with AIDS, polio, one eye and one arm get for Christmas? Cancer.

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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why was 6 afraid of 7 7 was a serial rapist with a anger problem

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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