A seal walks into a club.

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what happened to the slut last time she opened her legs. a bee flew in and stung her. turned out she was deathly allergic. she died a painful death.

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what happened to the frog that had a car accident, nothing it's dead

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how many baby's does it take to paint a wall?? depends how hard u throw them

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a picnic table? Alot of things

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A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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What's the difference between tires and a black guy? Tires don't scream once there are chains around them. ;)

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Why would a baby cry? Because it's being put through a juicer.

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing you mum having ***

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A mermaid found a magic lamp at the bottom of the ocean. She rubbed it and a cat with 9 lives came out so he didn't drown.

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A man walked into a bar, and clutched his stomach in pain as it was a steel bar and it hurts when you walk right into a steel bar.

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what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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What do you get when you cross a sheep with a lion? A dead sheep.

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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What do you call a terrible Therapist that shoots coke up his nose? Sickman, Sickman Fraud.

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Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

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What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

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what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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