Q: whats worse than finding out you failed an exam? A: finding out you where Hitler in a past life

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knock knock who's there? pizza man ok

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was at a crosswalk and had the right of way to on coming traffic

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Why did the Germans conquer Poland so quickly? Heavy military manufacturing and Blitzkrieg battlefield tactics.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? not your cheese, you probably stole it.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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A man told this joke once... it wasn't funny.

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Why is Joe is ugly? I dont Know

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Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

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Its true, he didnt write that!!

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-Why did the jewish man chase after the penny? -Because he's poor and needs to feed his starving family.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

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What did i say to the stupid person? Your Stupid.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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I told my friend one of these anti-jokes, he took it seriously and beat my head with a bat.

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Its very nice.

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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A gay man kisses a gay man and therefore is considered gay.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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What happens when a baby stops crying? it dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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