Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have cancer Nutella on muffin

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why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a hammer and the other one is a watermelon.

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A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

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A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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What did Mary say to Vishnikharmut? You're name is weird. What did Vishnikharmut say to Mary? Your grammar is incorrect.

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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