Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because the weather report said there was a 90% chance of rain, and he didn't want to get his posh new coat wet on the way to the studio

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you do when a blonde takes the pin out of a grenade and throws it at you? Take cover as there is a person close to you wielding an active grenade.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a dead Jewish girl that lay on the other side. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q.What Did the Little Kid Say To Cancer In The Hospital? A.Nothing. He Died From Cancer 3 Minutes Ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are red violets are microwaves i have amnesia what ma name iiizzz 'SHAWTAY

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. Open up. We have a warrant for your arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? ... it wanted to cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are red violets are blue porn hub is down your mums facebook will do

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A. Knock Knock B. There is noone home so the individual goes home

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Well, I feel that I've stepped outside my comfort zone.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did women scream loudly!? As the women was unexpectadly frightend!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was the unemployed dolphin trainer so sad? His life has no purpoise. In an unrelated topic, how is he unemployed id he is a dolphin trainer?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops