Whats the difference between a person with cancer and breakfast? Breakfast is important

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T-rex: If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, oh...

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

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How do you learn how to drive? You get in the driver seat

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I remember my first beer. It did not taste good to me at the time.

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

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How do Germans treat the Jewish? Kindly, and with much hospitality.

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Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

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Knock Knock Who's There Trick or Treat!!!

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

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Why are there so many blacks in prison? *The rest of this joke has been removed to avoid causing offence*

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What is green and red and is going super fast? A frog in a blender.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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We got him in about five minutes, the kid will already be exhausted by the point we get to him, r rather, he gets to us. Pretty quick for a small geek I got to say, the photography we got of him is an obvious Photoshop, but he seems similar enough I guess. I would call, but it seems someone has been messing with all other "Erron`s" homes and phones if I had not dropped mine, I would not have noticed we have been bugged for a while, pretty professional gear too,

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Q: what did Katy Perry say when someone told her that she was adaopted? A: That's not true, my parents took pictures of me in the hospital just minutes after I was born.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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knock knock. who's there? 9/11

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Do you know what lmnop is? No. A group of five consecutive letters.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? That depends on a variety of factors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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