A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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women rights

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

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Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

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What did the Golden Retriever say when asked about the meaning of life? woof.

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Why did the Nun refude to say Thank You Father? Because she was raped by her father as a child.

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What kind of mother doesn't do laundry? A dead one.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

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Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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Your Mother is so ugly that men tend to avoid her.

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An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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