Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

i'm an inbred jew - Barras

What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

A recently widowed blond was on her way to an appointment with her attractive physician, when she realized that she was almost out of gas, so she stopped to refuel at a station near his office.

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

what did the maker of anti jokes website say while reading some of the jokes on here? these people r idiots. and he lived happily ever after. then died. Good one

Q:Whats worse then hard nipples A:The holocaust

race-car = rac-ecar

How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

Whats 2 Plus 2? God Just Solve It.

How do unwed mothers celebrate Mother's Day? The same way all mothers do.

Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so therefore i must be a pig

i wonder who made this website? a human

Roses are red Violets go poo My name is Dave How bout u

What did the Iraqi Suicide bomber bring on the airplane? His Kindle, he enjoys reading books

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

why did tom shut his bedroom door? grandma was fingering herself

Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

i actually read the terms of service before i posted this

What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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