What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Come in! Come in who? I'm just com in' inside.

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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what smells like red paint, looks like red paint and is called red paint? A pear, i lied about everything i just said

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Why did Justin Bieber cross the road? Because the chicken chose him as a decoy.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

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Rsoes are geern Voielts are ornage I'm colorbilnd and Dixlesic.

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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What do you call a guy that just shit himself? Me

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What do you get when you mix a Refrigerator with a dog? Nothing. That would be impossible.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

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Guess what? What? You guessed correctly.

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What did Billy Mays eat for breakfast? nothing, he's dead.

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How do we know that Adam was white? We don't. The Bible doesn't specify the race or etnicity of either Adam or Eve.

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What's the difference between and train carriage and a miscarriage? You can't eat a train carriage!

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What did the customer say to the waiter when he found a fly in his soup? Sorry to bother you on your break, but why didn't I get a fly in MY soup?

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whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

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Whats the difference between Qantas and Malaysia Airlines? Qantas only looses money.

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What's sad about 3 black people going over a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac's seat 6

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops