Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

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Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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What happened when a star exploded? It killed billions of other sentient beings.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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Q:Whats not funny? A: Antijokes

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What has four legs one head but only one foot? A dog that was born with physical deformities.

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Whats funny? Your face.

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whats big, white and will kill someone if it falls out of a tree? a refridgerater

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there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

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What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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That awkward moment when your brother goes to crack his neck, but he dies instead.

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So a clown walks up to you and asks, "What'll always STICK with you? The violent disposition of humanity."

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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