If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? wheres my tractor

What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

Why couldn't the girl find a date to the prom? Because she was really, really ugly.

What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Nothing his parents died in a tragic car accident the night before

woman's rights

Barack Obama is a good president.

What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

What did the red bag have written on it? Yellow bag

violets are green roses are purple this makes total sense, cheeseburger

I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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