Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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What's long and hard on a black man? Second Grade

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

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Q: What did the boy say to the girl? A: Wanna go to homecoming?

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

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what happens when you step on a bear trap? Alot of pain.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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What's the difference between cancer and my grandmother? She doesn't have cancer.

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Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

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The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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