A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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What's grey and doesn't climb trees? A car park.

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Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

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wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

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the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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How many Cancer patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Cancer does not affect one's ability to install light bulbs.

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What's worse then getting followed by a creepy man in a van? Getting followed and raped by a creepy man in a van.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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race-car = rac-ecar

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Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Only musicians will understand.

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what did one tree say to the other spruce up actually nothing because trees can't talk

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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