The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

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Once upon of time, there was an ugly duckling. It was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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How did the weak old man with cancer beat it? He hung himself.

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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What did farmer brown say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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Did you hear about the guy who lost his arm and leg in a car crash? Well, he just died in hospital. RIP.

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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Why did the pirate have a peg leg? Diabetes

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Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

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Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

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Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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what did the chinese man say to the convicts at the side of the road? so long gay boys what did the convicts do to the chinese man? nothing he was in a car

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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roses are red violets are black,why is your chest as flat as your back :O

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What did the boy and the dog do at the park? Nothing, the dogs dead

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1 + 1 ? Hmm, I don't know, maybe 2 but I could be wrong.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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