If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

Allah walked into AK Bar

There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

9/11

Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

What's the difference between a ferrari and pile of dead babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

What do you call a black man riding a bike? A hard worker, he saved up his money for weeks trying to buy a bicycle.

Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

What's worse than The Holocaust? Nothing, The Holocaust was a dark and scary time.

what did the soup kitchen give people for christmas Meatloaf] -Fluzturnusturbusturcusterdustur

What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????1?2?3?4?5?6?7?8?9?0?????????#????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????©®™?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

What do you call a Middle Eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

I'm going to rewrite history. History.

Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

What's better than a stick? A stone

Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, This is a poem, Penis knuckle.

Whats worse than suicide? death

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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