Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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What smells like bananas but is invisible? Monkey farts

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Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

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whats 2=2? gonorrhea.

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Why did the gay kid drop his ice cream Because he got punched in the face.

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What was 6 affraid of 7? because 7 was black.

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Cripples are lame.

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What is the diffrents between a Mexican and a elevator? one can raise children the other is a mexican!!!!!

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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what do you call a girl that just took 15 loads to her face? sasha grey.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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How do you confuse Helen Keller? You don't, she's dead.

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

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There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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why did the firefighter let the fire burn... becuase of inattentivieness. he will soon be fired.

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Why do dogs bark? Idk why? Cause there dogs

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What did the ghost say to the black man? nothing. He just shot him.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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