A guy walked into a bar a hundred years ago and but a pint of whiskey. He is dead now.?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

i used to take arrows to the knee,til i took one to the balls.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a muslim flying a plane? A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the officer arrest the black man? Because he suspected him of littering. ...and because he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did hundreds ofnpeople die in a plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a Fly with no wings? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two fish in a tank one said "How do you drive this thing?"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you punish Helen Keller? Sit her in the corner and deprive her of things she likes to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead..

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

That moment when the worst part of the movie, is when your pregnant wife pees on the couch.....

thumb_up thumb_down -1

whats green and smells like red paint? green paint

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did George smoke weed? Because he was depressed after his wife died and couldn't get over the fact that he would be lonely forevermore.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the difference between a cow and some dirt? They're the same except for almost everything

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was 6 afraid of 7? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops