What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Jimmy tells his mom he wants to be a Firefighter when he grows up to which the mother replies, "You can't Jimmy, you have leukemia."

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Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave.

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What did one dog say to the other dog? Bark.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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What did the man do to the begging orphan on a cold Christmas morning? He kicked him.

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Why did I miss my bus? Because my watch was wrong.

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Whats the difference between a white guy and a black guy? They have different colors of skin.

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What did Helen Keller say to her mother? Nothing coherent.

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A gay man watches football.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, but she had anal hemorrhaging so it really hurt

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What did the man do when he went in the bathroom he took a crap wiped his butt and washed his hands and went back to meet his family at the dinner table

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Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

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why did reed eat a fish? He had cancer of the testicles

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- Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Repeat falls off, who's left? - Pete? - F**k yes.

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What's green, has four legs and falls from trees? A praying mantis that lost a battle and had it's frongt two legs removed causing it to lose balance and gripand plumet groundward from the tree.

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Yo momma so stupid she tried drowning a gold fish. She got accused for animal cruelty.

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Q: Knock Knock!?! A: Lettem' in!!!!

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how would you feel when your girlfriend dumps you really bad because she just dumped you man!!!1

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For New Years I want to spend more time with my... Video Games

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

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Shes got a big booty so I call her by her first name, women deserve respect.

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What did one chick in a clothes shop say to another? That's cheap

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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