Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

What do you say to a black couple that just got married? Congratulations

What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

Knock Knock!! . . (There is no response as nobody's home)

What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the user is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

Q: Whats the best part of a bald pussy? A: After you put the diaper back on you perv!

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

A man walks into a bar and orders two shots the bartender then picks up his shotgun and gives it to him

Knock Knock Who's there

The diamond one below is hilarious.

How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

What's red and smells like green paint? Red Paint

What is the worst joke to tell a Orphan? Knock Knock Who's there Not your parents ( Man than slams door in little girls face)

Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

why did the little girl fall off the swing? she was a double amputee.

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

Q) How many boring people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A) One

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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