How do you mess with Hellen Keller? Re-arrange her furniture.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is Kanye West's favorite type of sea-food? Lobster Bisque with a side of french fries.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He goes to the restroom and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. He goes to the restroom again and urinates. He comes back and orders another drink. Guess what happens next? A. He goes to the restroom to urinate B. He buys another drink C. He flirts with a very attractive lady D. Goes home and masturbates

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Did you know that Claire Seiter likes to drinkapplseiter? No. Oh well she does..

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A rabbi and a nun walk into a bar. They grab a drink and really hit it off despite their differences. After a couple years of happy dating, the rabbi, Mark, preposes. Gloria, the nun, gladly accepts. After four months, Gloria is pregnant. She dies in childbirth. The child has many illneses and dies within a week. Mark commits suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

knock, knock! who's there? i don't know i don't know who niether do i...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than stepping on a nail? stepping on the nail and falling on more nails face first.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A muslim, a priest, and a raabi walk into a bar. All three of them agree that it hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

p

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, bushes are red, trees are red....i set your garden on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A boy's parents buy him a Wii for Christmas. The boy hangs himself the next day because you need arms to play Wii.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

thumb_up thumb_down -11

whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops