What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

Q: What happened to the fat man on the roller coaster A: The roller coaster went slightly faster due to the laws of gravity

Did you hear the one about the nascar driver who couldn't pass his road test? No. It's true, he couldn't pass his road test.

I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

PENIS :)

A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

i have a black man in my family tree. i am 25% african american among several other ethnicities.

Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

dylan wishes he could come up with funny jokes. but that is impossible for a man trying to bat with a .5inch ****

Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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