What do you do when you see a black man getting hitted by a Mexican taxi? -Call 911

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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Women's rights

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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Why couldn't Sammy ride a Bicycle? -Because Sammy is a Fish

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

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Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

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what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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What does a penguin and a watermelon have in common? They all come from Earth.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -It's just Linda from nextdoor. -Oh hi Linda come on in.

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops