How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: To get to your house. A: Knock-knock B: Whose there? A: The chicken!

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All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

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Interviewer: Are you currently a smoker? Applicant: Are you implying that I look like a chimney?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cuz he was black.

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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Birdie Birdie in the Sky, Left a message in my eye ... So I shot the little bitch

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Q: What do you call a vacuum that doesn't suck stuff up? A: A broken vacuum.

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Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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What's the difference between a porsche and a pile of dead babies. I'd rather had the porsche in my garage

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A frog hops into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you to drink?". The frog hops out and the bartender realizes he is talking to animals because he has anxiety issues and all of his friends leave him and he spends every night crying and waiting to be loved...so he shoots himself.

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what did the bus driver say to the black man when he got on the bus? nothing, carl has become very anti-social since his brother died

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What did the Jew say to the German? Yes I would like fries with that.

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when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the turkey was in the oven and all the farm animals thought the chicken could run the errands in his place just fine.

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Banana. Banana who? The Holocaust.

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How do u turn on a lamp? Flip the switch

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

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Why are white people white? I don't know

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops