Women's Rights

Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

Q. what did the hobo say to the rich guy A. nothing the hobo wa a mute

What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

knock knock whos there i dont know. go look

Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

What do you call something that shoots out a white gooey liquid? A shampoo bottle

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya?" the man replies: "shut up gaylord"

why was the clown sad? because his wife left him

What do you call a black man on a rope swing? Usually whatever his first name is, but if he goes by a nickname you should use that

What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

roses are red violets are blue i have 5 fingers the middle ones for you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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