roses are red, violets are blue, hes for me not for you, if by chance you take me place, ill take my fist, and smarsh your face.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

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Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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Knock Knock who's there? Steve Steve who? Steve. I already told you my name.

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Why did the man steal the little girl? He didn't. She was his daughter and they were driving home after picking up the groceries.

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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A woman buys a man a Valentine's Day present.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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If all ziggles are zaggles and all zaggles are zumbles, then why is your mother a whore?

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If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

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how do you make Will Smith cry? cut off his toes and fingers.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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Hey I Just Met You , & This Is Crazy , But Here's My Status , So Like It Maybe ?

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

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What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops