Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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what do you call a black chef glendon

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

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Why didn't the mexican make the basketball team? He had never practiced and was overweight

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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Why can't black people swim? Many of them can. It's racist to assume that.

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Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

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Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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