Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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What did the basketball player do before he scored a basket? Shot the basket ball

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why didnt the whiteperson sit down at obama's election? because he had hemorrhoids

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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What's long and black? A black hockey stick.

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Wanna know way i don't eat grapes? I hate Grapes.

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Chuck Norris.

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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How did the little boy get out of the forest? -He didnt, he was devoured by a pack of wovles.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven is a serial rapist and has been harrassing six for months.

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What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

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Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

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So Colton Yepma walks in to Accounting and proceeds to read jokes

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What did Jamaal say when he was in Walmart? I'm Jamaal and I'm in Walmart.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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Q: Why do black people buy so many pairs of shoes? A: Because when they outgrow there old pair they need new shoes.

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How do you turn a piece of meat into a vegetable Break her neck

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What is the opposite of Obama? Mitt Romney because he his white and a republican so all is good with him.

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What Did Sally Get For Christmas? A Bicycle

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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Why did George Bush blow up the Twin Towers on 9/11? 9/12 was his girlfriends birthday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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