Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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What did the mom say to her daughter? I love you.

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What do you do to a brain dead man to get his money? Pull the plug.

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A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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Why did the chicken cross the road Cause he wanted to

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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Knock Knock! ... Whos there? ... Daisy ... Daisy who? ... Daisy me trolling... ;)

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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What does a blond do when she stops at a red light? She gets arrested.

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What did the boy who was in a chainsaw accident yell to his mom when he was on a rollercoaster? Look ma, no hands!

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What do you call a man who never farts in public? A private tooter!

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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Knock Knock! F*ck off

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Q: what did Katy Perry say when someone told her that she was adaopted? A: That's not true, my parents took pictures of me in the hospital just minutes after I was born.

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What did the black man say to the white man? "Hi"

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

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Jovan

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"Is this the Krusty Krab ?" I'M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT TYRONE.

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Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops