Comedian: Do you all wanna hear a joke? Audience: Yeah!!! Comedian: Okay! What did the bad comedian say to the audience? Audience: What?!! Comedian: Chicken butt. Thank you, you've been a great crowd. Good night!

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

thumb_up thumb_down

There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

thumb_up thumb_down

roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimers who are you?

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

roses are black violets are black I'm blind i need a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why is an Orange, Orange??? Because its not blue!

thumb_up thumb_down

Have you seen stevie wonders new house No Niether has he

thumb_up thumb_down

how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

thumb_up thumb_down

why is brennan hart a dumbass idk ask his mom

thumb_up thumb_down

Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

thumb_up thumb_down

This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

thumb_up thumb_down

A magician tells the boy to get into the box and locks him in. He wasn't a magician.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the Black women tell her Asian boyfriend in bed Nothing because they don't talk when they are sleeping

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down

welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos (make a dipping and snacking motion).

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

thumb_up thumb_down

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats the difference between a pizza and a jew? Pizza is not human, Jewish people are.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

An alcoholic walks into a bar.... I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother is a prostitute.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops