How do you kill somebody? A: I don't know, I'm not a murderer.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Wanna hear the most repeated joke on anti jokes? Why did [insert name here] fall off the swing? Because he/she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not [insert name here].

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Whats the opposite of red? Fish!

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What does a sock, pillow and a lamp have in common? -they all live underwater expect for the sock, pillow and lamp -Matt

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Why did the boy cry after baseball practice? He was molested by his coach.

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Q. What does the kool aid man say when he breaks into a wall A. Ow

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Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener.

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Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

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what did rishi say to jess ? GOOD ONE

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Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

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Why was everyone afraid of Nick Morton? Because he had AIDS

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The police catch them, and they are sentenced to jail.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because seven is a murdering sociopath

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Why was the boy sad? Because a freak accident killed his mum his dad his best friend and he lost both his legs and is unable to feed himself

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What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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here's a joke... the american education society

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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