Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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Why didn't the boy cross the street? He didn't have legs

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Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What looks good hanging from trees? Spanish moss.

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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If I earned a dollar for every time you've said, "I'm too old for this sh*t," I wouldn't have made very much money. You are a giraffe.

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what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

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Q: You know what's worse than being a mother? A: Almost everything, because being a mother is not a bad thing, in fact, it's a wonderful thing.

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Knock knock Who's there? No one ever mentioned someone named "there" it's me, Jim

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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